Fall 1943.

Dear Amy: “Christy” and I have been friends for more than 25 years.Christy married an abusive monster, and after 15 years of her crying to me and then going back to him, I stepped away for a few years.I told her that I believed he would kill her, and if I couldn’t convince her to leave, I had to leave because I couldn’t watch.A few years ago, she told me about the horrible effects of his abuse, which led to hospitalizations and eventually brain surgery for an issue related to his abuse.I brought her into my home for a month, nursed her through the miraculous, frightening surgery, and then she went BACK to him.I stepped away for another three years.She reached out a year ago and told me they had divorced.I went for a visit, and she admitted she’d lied, saying that they had agreed not to divorce, “So, if he dies first, I’ll get his military retirement benefit.”I told her she was nuts, but if she wasn’t sleeping with him, and if she never, ever again called me in tears over him, I’d leave the topic alone.She said OK, then called me in tears a few weeks later over booty call drama with him, and I’ve ghosted her ever since.Since she won’t help herself by not sleeping with him, I’ve turned my back “without explanation,” beyond that first 20 years of pleading with her to get away from him.I know ghosting is cold-hearted, but I’m done.

Dear Amy: My in-laws are wonderful people.